Time to brag on God… my personal wake up call.

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.” Psalm 73:28

Ok, time to brag on God a bit here. Seriously, God is AWESOME!!!! Have you ever just sat back and thought about all the stuff God is doing in and around you and felt like your head was going to explode because it wouldn’t all fit in there? Welcome to my last few months. In the last month and a half God has especially shown just how glorious He can be. I’ve attempted countless times to put it into words, and in every instance I fall short. It’s a new sense of purpose. A new urgency, and it’s exciting!

To give you the full picture I’ve actually got to go back to July, the 25th to be exact. I was sitting on the floor of Sugar Creek Baptist church, crying, miserable, confused, and angry. I was talking to God in a room where the Holy Spirit was in every crevasse, people were being saved, and kids were on their faces. The topic of our conversation in a nutshell: “God, what is wrong with me?” I told God I didn’t understand my lack of urgency. I didn’t understand how a few weeks before I could be in Ethiopia, on fire, in the word, sensitive to the Spirit, caring about people dying and going to hell and now I was in America, and I didn’t care. I wanted to care. I wanted to have the same passion, to love, to minister. But I didn’t know how, I didn’t feel it. All I knew how to do in America was want-to-want God and long for Ethiopia. So I got on my face. I wept. I talked honestly with him. I asked Him to fix me, and He answered. He told me I didn’t have to feel it. I had to do one thing that would lead to the rest happening… surrender. One easy word… so incredibly hard to actually do. The process began. Incredibly slow at times, insanely accelerated at others.

Fast forward to today and I am overwhelmed what God has brought me into and through and is preparing to do. In the last few months he has brought me incredible new, strong friendships, based solely on Christ and making him known to the world. He has strengthened old friendships the same way. He has brought intense accountability that is so hard, but so rewarding and freeing. He has brought a fresh passion and experience of His Holy Spirit, the almost lost person of the trinity in my life. He has brought random strangers in the midst of their suffering, and allowed me the chance to tell about a God who loves them. Just in the last few days he has brought a prayed for and long desired mentor for even more intense learning and accountability. And one of the most overwhelming things He has brought is a boldness to speak truth, actually to speak at all. He is giving me a voice and I’m attempting to practice using it, seeking his wisdom in every word. He is giving us a vision of a new Pentecost. A time that we can say the message God speaks through us is cutting to the heart and new believers are being added daily to our numbers. (Acts 2:37-47)

The challenge for us as believers is this: It’s time to WAKE UP! God had to wake me up in a crazy in your face way. It’s time to be more passionate, humble, sold-out, bold, real, and on our faces than ever before. God is working, and trust me you don’t want to miss out on this. It’s exciting! It makes you feel like singing, dancing, staying up all night praying, fasting, shouting, weeping, praising God, and falling on your face all at the same time, and it’s the best feeling in the world. Get on board. You’ll never be the same and you’ll never regret it. Praying for you all, that God would wreck your world the way he has been wrecking mine lately. Love you.

Making It Real

6/30/10 “The first day of walking the streets of Surupa is now complete. That was intense. I am amazed at how something can be so easy and yet so complex and difficult at the same time. It seems so easy to tell them the story and have them say yes, they want to believe. But then they walk away from us and if it’s real their lives change. We don’t often see the harsher sides of that change. In the past we have connected them with local believers and gone on with the work we had to do. Today however I saw a glimpse of the harshness of that change. Today I witnessed persecution first hand and it broke a part of me. Persecution, a term we in the American church talk about but hardly ever see. A thing that is a daily reality for many of our brothers and sisters.”

For the first few days we were in Surupa our team split into 3 groups and basically went house-to-house evangelizing. On day one in the center of town my group encountered an older man. He said he wanted to hear what we had to say and as we shared Christ with him, his whole demeanor changed. By the time we were finished sharing he had decided this was something he wanted and he told us as much. We prayed with him and after we said amen he asked us to come to his home and share this good news with his family. As soon as we approached his house and the man and our translators began talking to his family two of the women began shouting and pulling at him. It did not take a common language to understand what was happening, these women were angry. You know what they say about the furry of a woman’s scorn… Our translator told us that these women were persecuting this man because they were Orthodox and were not happy about his decision. He told us it would be better for us to leave. In that moment I didn’t like the idea of leaving this man to be yelled out, but we have been taught to listen to our local partners. After all they know what the angry people are saying and we don’t. As we walked a way I felt a strange mixture of joy, knowing he was now a brother, and sadness, knowing that this fact meant he was now a sort of outcast….

“They said they did not want us there and our translator told us we should leave. I felt so helpless and I also felt like we were abandoning our new brother. It made me feel like all we did was pray with him and then send him to the wolves alone. It was overwhelmingly sad. We left with a promise to pray for him and find him later in the week so he could receive discipleship.”

We did find the man later for discipleship and looking back I knew that what we did was all we could do. In this instance and in several other similar instances on this trip God made what we were doing more real in a way than I think I’ve ever experienced. I’ve intellectually known for a while that when we show up with this message, this truth, it changes people. It changes families. I’ve heard from many people that their choice of faith has caused them to be outcast in their societies and families. However, like many things in this life seeing it first hand made it real to me. It became more than a nameless story. It became a brother I stood along side being yelled at and pulled on. Persecution has a tangible face in my mind now. It became scenes in my mind that will never be erased. I wish I could say this was the only scene of its kind, but there were several more that occurred in these weeks. I’ll share more at another time.

As I sit back now. Here in comfortable American life these scenes still as real as ever in my mind seem so far removed. Countries apart. Thinking on them now my heart still aches. It makes me wonder how that man, and the other of our brothers and sisters in the midst of persecution, is faring. It makes me realize the importance of community and having others to stand beside, others to help you be strong. While my heart aches thinking of this man, my heart is also encouraged. Encouraged because I know that we did not leave him alone. Because even though we are here half a world away God is still alive and well in Ethiopia and God’s church is now alive and well in Surupa. Because I know that by God’s power there is now a fellowship there that this man and the other believers of Surupa can go to in order to grow and be strengthen. Looking back I see that a promise of prayer and a growing body of believers is the best thing we could have left these people with. I no longer feel like we left them surrounded by wolves waiting to attack. Instead I know we left them with a God who is strong, who will see them through the hardest days. And in my heart I never left them at all, I am standing along side them as their sister, praying that they will overcome the harshness of this world. They are overcomers and heaven only knows what they will accomplish.

First church service ever in Surupa

Stolen Hearts

Everything we experience in life has its share of moments both good and bad. Ministry is no exception. Every year we go to Ethiopia and in some ways the place feels like a wreck, but in others it feels like they have it all together. Their grasp of community continually overwhelms me. Their love is something almost inexpressibly beautiful. We have always seen the affects of poverty and obviously the basic repercussions of sin that you will see in all people, but I’ve had few interactions in which I’ve had to see the ugly side of this country. This year I had the sad opportunity to see the results of the fall are still alive and well in this country of my heart and that the relationships there can be just as broken as they are anywhere else. I have now seen more clearly than one would really want to, that even here the decisions others make are very capable of breaking relationships. All that said God has also shown that He has the amazing power to redeem these situations. Shown that in the midst of broken relationships and hearts he will bring new people, relationships, and opportunities.  In hindsight I have seen that had some of these situations not occurred all the things that happened during our time in Ethiopia would have been completely different, and I may have never been to Surupa, Ethiopia. And that my friends would have been a real shame. As I write this it strikes me that this post may seem incredibly vague due to a lack of details, but I pray that God would speak in spite of a somewhat vague theme. The reason for the background, as vague as it may be is to set up an excerpt from my journal and the lessons it has taught me, both then and as I have come home to reflect on it. I wrote this section of my journal after having a conversation with a few of my teammates about the happenings, which ultimately shaped the new direction of our teams’ work. As we talked and as my heart was wrenched by the topic of our conversation part of me immediately asked the question we so often ask God, “WHY?” Why do people have to fall? Why do relationships have to be broken? Why does all of this stuff have to hurt so dang much? As I later retreated to my room, to a somewhat sleepless night full of these types of questions God answered with one simple word: SIN. Of course, I thought to myself. This is sort of the answer we always know and then hope to add a thousand addendums and “but God” replies to. Instead of asking “But why?” I decided to ask, “So what do I do with this broken state we are in?” The answer was both simple and complex. The answer was to do exactly what He brought me to Ethiopia to do, love people and point them to Christ. In that moment I was overwhelmed with a sense of urgency. In that moment it was specifically for Ethiopia, later I would find revisions being made to that urgency. In response this is what I picked up my pen and wrote…

“Here we are in the land that has stolen our hearts. A land full of people who understand love and community. A land of orphans, widows, poverty and painful situations. Yet in the midst of it all, it is a place full of joy and love. A land full of overcomers, smiles, and laughter. It is here that we have fallen in love, some of us for the first time. Our hearts stood no chance. We should have seen it coming. The children standing in the doorways waving and smiling, the men in the fields plowing their crops, the women walking miles in their bright colors to get water for their families. In these moments, in their faces our hearts ran away never to return to us the same. As we look at them we would have it no other way. As each moment passes we only fall more in love with them, wishing we could stay forever living life with them. The day will come and we will have to go, but until then we will drink deeply of each moment. We will talk, laugh, cry, and learn to love more intensely than we ever thought possible. We will sing and dance and relish in these moments in which our hearts are continuing to be stolen and willingly given away, taking exceeding joy in the land our hearts now crave.”

Almost a week later sitting at my home back in Texas this response seems as appropriate as ever and the urgency pulls at my heart almost as clear as that broken night in a hotel room in Addis. Only as I now reflect I realize that the urgency is not just for Ethiopia, it’s for people. It’s for the people right here in the place God has me the other 11 months of the year. I have been overwhelmed again in the last week by the things God is stirring up in my own community. I am seeing, though not by any means for the first time, the result of broken relationships here but I’m also seeing the power of real love. I’m seeing the power of community. The power that comes with drinking deeply of each moment right here at home and having my heart stolen by the people God has me with each and every day. God is teaching me how to love America. That might sound strange to many of you, to others it will make perfect sense. Above all I guess the lesson I’m in the process of learning and would challenge you with would be to waste nothing, to love recklessly, to treasure each moment, and to give of yourself without holding anything back. I’m by no means perfect at any of these things, but so far just attempting them has brought more joy and fulfillment than even my long-winded words can describe.

Day 1– እግዜር ይስጥልኝ

As previously stated I am attempting to be better this year about sharing all that the Lord did in Ethiopia this year. Having said that I can honestly say that I am more anxious to share than I have ever been. Usually at this time I am dealing with reverse culture shock, which is often much more intense than it’s counterpart. This year I find myself struggling not to write out my entire journal and post it in this moment. Rather than hastily blurting it all out at once I will refrain a bit. I do want to take you through the entire journey. I will be quoting in many instances directly from my journal in an attempt to be as raw and unedited as possible, this with the hope that you could see honestly from my heart. I want to you to see all that the Lord has done and is doing, both in the country of Ethiopia and very personally with me. That second one sort of sounds completely frightening to me, but I’m learning that when God wants you to be real it’s better to stop being an idiot and obey Him. I don’t know why He wants me to share, but I can’t shake it. So rather than fighting I’m attempting surrender. If it’s anything like the last two weeks of my life have been He will prove true and overwhelmingly glorious, and I can’t wait to watch it play out. So welcome to my adventure, His adventure in me. Where better to start than day 1…

Ethiopia 6/28/2010: “And so it begins, day one in country. Currently sitting in a bus in the rain in Addis. Sitting here on this bus I may have just learned my favorite Amharic phrase: Xabier yeesteline.”

When we go on these trips we expect God to speak to us, to challenge us, change us. However, of all the things God could use I never anticipated He would speak directly to my soul in a language that was not even my own. On this, the first day in country the Lord bent down and spoke directly to me through the language of the people I was here to love. Even more so He taught me in a phrase that was coined for beggars. I was intrigued by this phrase so I did a little research with my Ethiopian friends. Xabier yeesteline is a phrase people say specifically to beggars, when one has nothing to give to them. It literally means, “May God provide on my behalf.” As I mulled this phrase and idea over in my mind I was overwhelmed. This still holds true as I sit at my computer screen back in Texas. We serve a God who is provider. Often when we go to countries like Ethiopia, and in all honesty even here in America we are overwhelmed by needs. We become paralyzed by where to start, thinking that one person can’t make a difference in all this mess, so we often do nothing. But, God calls us to action not just conversation, not just comfortable fellowship. In this phrase my heart was shaken. It was a good wake up call for day 1 in Ethiopia, and it’s a good wake up call as I sit here back in America. At times in our lives we may be left with nothing left to give but an ‘Xabier yeesteline’ but in other moments we are called to be the answer to the many ‘xabier yeestelines’ the broken people that surround us have been given their entire lives.

“What a powerful image of Christ. Even when we have nothing left to give these people, He comes and provides for them on our behalf. May we be for some of these the answer to the many ‘xabier yeesteline’ they have received in their lives.”

The Call

Ethiopia. Amazing as always. I always struggle with putting these experiences to words. I often find myself in the hours following my return, with the silly answer of, “Yeah, it was a great trip.” On this trip however God struck me with the importance of sharing my stories, of using my voice. A little time for digestion is always necessary, but I intend on speaking and sharing as often as I can about what the LORD has accomplished over these last two weeks. Mostly because what He did was something only He could accomplish, and nothing I had any power to do. He deserves all the glory, and lots of it. So here is an attempt at a first taste. It’s a bit raw, unedited, and written in a bus, on a dirt road in Africa, but I pray it serves as a window to my heart. God told me to share, so I trust He has a reason. Enjoy…

The call is clear. It holds no stipulations and has no contingency plans. It just is: GO! The eyes of children, affected by hunger and poverty and suffering of every kind and yet still so full of joy, beckon. The women, who work harder than anyone could imagine and yet are often left uneducated and unvoiced, call out. The men, who work relentlessly to provide and are often left in poverty praying their families survive, cry out from the depths of their souls. Come. Help. In their eyes the call is clearer than ever. Go! The call, which is echoed out, to the expanse of eternity from the aching depths of desperate souls now needs an answer. A plea for someone, anyone to answer back. I’m coming… In that answer joy is found. Hope is promised. Hearts are bound. Love is poured out without limitations or regrets. Sufferings, trials, and tears may not be banished forever by this answer, but momentarily they are overwhelmed by something greater. Hope. It is this hope mixed with love and truth, which changes the world. It is this blend that is set to shake the foundations and change lives forever. So as the journey moves forward under this banner of truth and love that call continues ringing out to the farthest corners of creation. Until finally it comes, the thing longed for since the beginning. Here I am… Comfort has no place here. Only obedience. In this answer lives, necessities, and love are redefined. In this moment everything has more meaning. Now nothing matters but the call, the people, the answer, and the actions it produces. With those three words, so easy yet so complex, nothing will ever be the same. Adventure, love, suffering, and joy wait. And I would never choose anything else. Here I am…

Speaking of heartbreak…

So last night I went to Clarity and I had the conversations about Ethiopia that I always seem to have. I talked to people about missing it, how amazing it is, and not being able to wait to go back. Sometimes when I talk about it I feel like a broken record honestly but the thing is that it’s pretty much always on my mind. I really cannot honestly say that there has been a single day since I’ve been back that I have not thought about Ethiopia. It’s weird to me to love people so much that you barley know, to want to be somewhere that isn’t home so badly.

So I went home after Clarity and checked my blog. I saw a post on Matt’s adoption blog where they had some facts about Ethiopia and I must say my heart has a few new cracks in this moment. We sang a song in church this week and some of the words in the song are, “break my heart for what breaks Yours.” I have a feeling that the facts that I read in this blog break the heart of a God who loves the people of Ethiopia. My prayer is that He would continue to, as the song says; break my heart for things like this that break His heart. Anyway my point in all this was to share the stats with you. I pray they move you. To what I don’t know, but I think that maybe that’s what we need sometimes, just to be affected by something.  Any way here they are:

 

• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday
• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old
• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition
• The median age in Ethiopia is 18 years
• 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world)
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone
• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa
• In the 90s the population (3%) grew faster than food production (2.2%)
• Drought struck the country from 2000-2002 (first year no crops, second year no seeds, third year no animals)
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.
• Coffee prices (Ethiopia’s only major export) fell 40-60% from 1998-2002.
• Ethiopia’s doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000.
• In 1993, after 30 long years of war, Eritrea broke from Ethiopia and became an independent nation leaving Ethiopia landlocked without any major seafaring ports.
• Ethiopia has approx. 4.3 million orphans and the country is twice the size of Texas.

 ”Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

 

Ethiopia pt.2- The Call to Prayer

Imagine waking up daily to the sorrowful sound of a man wailing and calling his Muslim brothers and sisters to prayer. As you breathe in the cool, crisp morning air of Ethiopia, imagine seeing a man who has already lived most of his life walking to the mosque to pray and worship. As he walks he cradles his beloved Koran in his hands. Imagine walking into a room at the airport (created specifically for Muslims to come and pray) and seeing women and children with their mats unrolled, laying on their face and praying. Imagine all these things and then imagine what this must do to the heart of God…

 

Hello friends,

I know it has been far to long since my last Ethiopia story. Things have been busy lately, but I’m sure you all know how that is. This marks the third occasion on which I have sat down to write and each time I have not known what to say. There is no shortage of stories but I have struggled with which to tell and how to tell them. It is no secret that I miss Ethiopia and that I am ready to go back. Lately I have been thinking about it even more. This week another group from our church returned from a trip to Afghanistan. Seeing their pictures and hearing just a piece of their stories brought a few memories to the forefront of my mind, most of these memories centered around the Muslim call to prayer that we heard daily when we were in Ethiopia. This is something I will never forget, but if I am being honest the memory of the feeling that I had deep in my heart every time I heard that call to prayer has started to fade a little. I began to read through my journal so that I could remember and there were a few entries that stood out to me and made that feeling return. I wrote this to remind myself. My prayer is that in some way it can affect you as well, that it can stir your heart in some way.  

 

 

Journal entry June 7,2008:

I continue to be amazed by the beauty, depth, and tradition of the Muslim people…I really feel myself falling more in love with the Muslim people. There is a thought to freak my mom out for a lifetime. It is beautiful to me to see the women in their hijab [headscarves], their modesty and their partaking in tradition, in something that is so important to them… I wonder if they would be more open to relationships and hearing what we have to say if we were more respectful and loving to them and their culture. I wonder if they are open and we just don’t see it because of our pride and judgments against them. Their language is so beautiful! How much of a joy it must be for the Lord to hear these people praise Him with the beautiful language He has given them. All this joy from the Egyptians in the airport, I cannot wait until we get to Ethiopia and the Lord blesses me with the honor of meeting His beautiful Ethiopian people.

 

June 10, 2008:

I think of all the things in Egypt, the thing that touched me the most was the people and the overwhelming presence of Islam. When we were driving I could not help but notice how there seemed to be a mosque on almost every corner. Of course they were all beautiful, but those mosques hold people who are so devoted to their beliefs yet so completely lost without the truth. There were women everywhere dressed in either headscarves or burkas. And yes they were beautiful, but my heart also broke for them. I pray that they will meet someone who will tell them the truth and they will understand and believe.

 

June 12, 2008:

Can I just say again how beautiful these people are? When I look at the joy of these people all the little “sacrifices” we make being here are so worth it and so insignificant.

 

I hear again the man doing the call to prayer. Every time I hear the call to prayer I am both challenged and broken. Challenged because I still see myself as so much less zealous than the Islamic people and broken because though they are zealous, they are lost. Brokenness seems to in a way be the theme of the day.

 

June 13, 2008:

As I was sitting here doing my reading I saw an Islamic man walking, with his Koran in hand, to the mosque. Lord thank You for this new found love for Islamic people. Lord use me somehow and change their hearts and lives. Bless that man, may he find truth.

 

It’s hard for me to describe what hearing this call daily stirred in my heart. Those of you who have experienced being in countries where this call is heard daily probably understand better than anyone else. I’m not entirely sure why God is stirring these things in my heart now, when I am still months away from Ethiopia. I pray however, that this would continue to stir my heart. I’m not sure exactly what to do with this uneasy feeling right now, but I know God has a reason for all things. Maybe it is just to prepare me for what is ahead. I pray that somehow God has used my jumbled thoughts to speak to you. Grace and peace… 

Ethiopia pt. 1- Yergalem

It has been about three months since I returned from Ethiopia. All I can say is the time between now and when I can return in June cannot pass quickly enough. When I left Ethiopia I knew there were so many stories to tell, but I was not sure the best way to tell them all. One thing I knew was that I had a notebook full of stories and thoughts and close to two thousand pictures, pictures of people whose stories needed to be told to whoever would listen. I have told many of these stories but there are many more to tell. I had the idea to use my blog to tell these stories. So this will be the first in what I hope are many blogs to tell the stories of the people I met while in Ethiopia. I will tell you what I know of their histories, how the team and I were able to interact with them and help them, and the impact that they had on me personally. I hope that these stories both bless you and challenge you. I hope that some of these stories may even move some of you to going yourself. So here we go, welcome to Ethiopia, welcome to a part of my journey.

 

Welcome to Ethiopia a land with 13 months of sunshine, a land that smells like a wood burning chimney, a land full of people that I now love. This is the story of a woman named Yergalem. On our second day of teaching Yergalem came to the school with her two youngest daughters Nesanet and Bruhan. They were younger than the rest of the children we were planning on teaching but we had no intention of telling this mother and her two children that they could not stay and learn. As Leah and Sarah taught the mother sat with her girls and learned right along side them. Whenever the instruction time was over the class went outside to have recreation time. Tammi and I were sitting on the sidelines talking and taking pictures of the students playing and Yergalem came to where we were and began talking to us. Faven, our translator joined us and the four of us started a conversation that in the end would lead too much more than we could have imagined at the time.

 

As we began talking Yergalem told us that she could not afford to put her children in school because she did not have the money. Her husband left one day and never came back. She was left to take care of her four children by herself. She told us that she had been working as a housekeeper to try and provide for her family but because of a hand injury it was hard for her to do any real work besides odd jobs. Tammi then asked her about her beliefs. She told us that she had gone to a Protestant church a few years back but that she was now going to an Orthodox church. Tammi continued the conversation by asking her what she believed about Jesus and then presenting her with the message of salvation. After Tammi told her about Jesus and about how to be saved the woman told us that she wanted to accept Christ as her Savior. Tammi turned to me and asked me to lead her in a prayer. This is the point where I realized that for all the outreaches I’ve done in the States and all the mission trips I’ve taken overseas I’ve never been the one leading the prayer. I also realized it is not the words but the attitude of the heart that is praying and accepting. So I prayed, Faven translated, and Yergalem accepted. When we said amen the look on her face was one I will never forget. The joy and the love that flowed from this woman were so beautiful that I do not know how to describe it. The next question this woman asked was even more beautiful. She looked at Tammi and I and asked if she could have a Bible. We told her that as soon as we got back to the bus there was a Bible with her name on it! I think in that moment the joy on her face doubled. It was absolutely beautiful. Everyday after this Yergalem and her daughters were at the school waiting for us and everyday we saw Yergalem she was holding the Bible we had given her. The way she held that Bible spoke to me. She was saying with her actions that the last thing she wanted to do was put that Bible down because it meant so much to her. Over the course of us being there Tammi also realized that this family was the one she has been looking for. She chose to sponsor this family. We set it up with our contacts in Ethiopia and now all of Yergalem’s children are going to be able to go to school. Her family now has the security that it has lacked for a long while.

 

While we may have been able to be the way God physically provided for this family they also blessed us more than I think I could ever write in a blog. This family basically became our adopted family while we were in country. Every time we came to the school they were waiting for us with arms open for hugs, or the kids with arms open for us to pick them up and carry them around all day. We shared our lives with these beautiful people for 4 weeks. We went to church together, we learned together, we ate meals together, we laughed and cried together, and we loved each other. When we had to say goodbye to this family a piece of our heart, a big piece, stayed there with them. We know that God allowed all of this to happen and we praise Him for it. We long for the day we will see them again and we know that the love we have for each other will never go away. This is just the story of one. I can’t wait to tell you more.

 

Giving God our stuff or giving Him our lives…

Tonight God gave me the opportunity to share at my old churches youth group about my trip to Ethiopia. I did your typical telling about what we did and showing some pictures and then I told them about some things that God has been laying on my heart. I thought maybe I would share those things with you here as well.

Since I’ve been back from Ethiopia God has been working on a lot of things in my heart. One thing that continues to attract my attention and hog my thoughts has been the poverty of Ethiopia verses the almost overwhelmingly materialistic lifestyle of most Americans. I know that I have struggled with the need for stuff, as have many other people I’ve talked to. But as I came home and traveled directly to California and then came back home it was like I was smacked in the face with stuff. I mean I came home and sat in my room, looked around and almost got sick to my stomach at how much stuff I have been able to accumulate in my years on this earth. All I could think was this is all so unnecessary. Sunday I heard two sermons, which once again pounded this theme into my head. The thoughts I shared with the youth group were not necessarily about our personal struggles with materialism but more about how materialism may effect us a church.

When I was in Ethiopia I saw some of the most pure worship I have ever seen in my life. I mean I sat in rooms with people who basically had nothing but they poured themselves out heart and soul before God. This what God was talking about when he said he wants us to worship him in spirit and truth. Their worship just seemed so untainted by the things of this world. They didn’t have or need power points, bulletins, fancy sound systems, or stained glass windows they just had each other and time they had set aside to come together and worship God.  I think sometimes as I sit in churches in America that we almost let our things pervert our worship to God. I know that God has allowed us to live in a land of plenty and I’m not saying we should necessarily give up everything and live lives of poverty. What I’m trying to say is that we should be giving God the best of ourselves, not our stuff. I think that maybe we have let our worship become us saying, “Here God, take the best of my possessions as my worship.” And instead God is saying, “I don’t want the best of your possessions, I want the best of who you are. I just want you.” I think that instead of always giving God our stuff we should be pouring out our lives as an offering for him. God has all things in this world already, what he wants is your pure and undivided worship and love of Him. So I guess the challenge is this: Don’t let the things God has allowed you to have taint your worship, love, and reverence for Him. I think when we follow after Him and worship and love him with all of who we are everything else will seem so much less important.

a few thoughts on Ethiopia

Well I’ve been home from Ethiopia about two weeks now so I guess it is about time for a blog. There is just one problem with this, every time I sit down to write about Ethiopia my mind is flooded with so many thoughts, memories, and emotions I don’t know where to start. In many ways it feels like I was there just yesterday teaching, hugging little kids, and worshipping with the believers at the house churches. In another way it feels like the last month has been a wonderfully amazing dream, that I am just now waking up from. If this were the case I just wish I could go back to sleep!

 

So I guess my brain is not composed enough to really write yet so instead I am just going to take some time to write some of the thoughts that are hogging most of the space in my brain in hopes that writing will help me sort them out. If you care to keep reading that would be great but I don’t promise this will always make sense (just a warning).

 

I learned a long time ago that being in a foreign country (now multiple times, in multiple countries) has given me a different outlook on a lot of things. I am thankful for a perspective that is a little different but some times I know that life would be easier without this perspective. I also learned a long time ago that this different perspective can also tempt me to become a little calloused and bitter about the life myself and others live in America. It took me a while to see that letting this perspective effect me in this way accomplished nothing. I learned that asking God why He allowed me to be born in America into so much blessing is not as good of a question as asking Him what He wants me to do with those blessings. In Ethiopia I was confronted with a whole new perspective of heart breaking poverty that basically slaps you in the face daily. I am still trying to comprehend in my mind why God allowed me to see certain things He allowed me to see while I was there.

 

I have also gained a whole new perspective and love for the Islamic (Muslim) people than I ever expected. While we did not encounter an overwhelming amount of Muslim people in our time in Ethiopia I had enough contact to gain a slightly new perspective on things. Interacting with these people has allowed me to see that while I do not agree with their religion, I love them. It has allowed me to once again confirm that these people all not all extremists who hate us. How sick I am of hearing that lie! There are extremist in any religion or belief it does not mean that we should choose to generalize and breed hate against them all. My heart is heavier than ever when I hear people make comments to this effect.

 

 I also have seen now more than ever my heart for missions grow. I know for certain that the call is missions. I have seen the great need once again and I pray that God continues to allow me to be a part of meeting that need, even if it is in a small way. I am not sure in what capacity I will fulfill that call. Maybe it is a lifetime of foreign missions work, whatever that may mean, maybe it is life of continuing to do short terms trips. All I am sure of is the call.

 

I guess the biggest of all questions lingering in my mind is how I allow all of these new experiences, ideas, and emotions to live in one person. How do I allow all of this to co-exist with the person I am back here in America? I know that I am changed, for this I am thankful. I will never be the exact same person I was a month ago again. But I wonder if the two worlds can co-exist inside of me? Can I keep the brokenness and passion I experience in Ethiopia while I am here in the States, or am I doomed to once again conform to the patterns that have been set in place by the society I now live in? My prayer is that I remain changed, that I remain broken for the things that break God’s heart. I don’t know, maybe the two are not supposed to fit neatly together. Maybe it is better this way, so that not conforming is at the front of my mind. Maybe…